To Understand My Toxic Relationship

A lot of people (mostly women) are opening up about being in a toxic relationship at some point in their lives.  Most of them knew that what was happening to them at the time was toxic but they felt that they were unable (or unwilling) to get out of it for one reason or another.  I completely understand.

I was in a toxic relationship.  I didn’t know it, though, until it was over.  It didn’t take me long to figure out that I had been controlled and manipulated for years (I still don’t know how he did that).  I didn’t know that he had been making me feel horrible about myself because, until the very end, he didn’t use words to tell me how ugly he thought I was, how horrible a human being he thought I was, how mean he thought I was.  Soon I realized that he was projecting his feelings about himself onto me.  He hated me for trying to make him do the “right thing” or be kind to others.  He made me think that there was something wrong with me because I “did” for others.

When I mentioned to friends that I finally felt free and that I hadn’t realized how manipulated I had been for so long, they said that they knew.  They knew!!!!  They knew and they didn’t say anything.  No one said anything!  Would I have listened?  Honestly, probably not but it would have at least put the idea in my head which may have given me a chance to fix the situation sooner.

Why am I writing this now?  I am writing this now because there are many forms of toxic relationships – many forms of physically toxic relationships – many forms of verbally toxic relationships – many forms of emotionally toxic relationships.  No two toxic relationships are the same.  Mine is different from all others.

We ALL have to stick together because everyone knows someone who is either currently in a toxic relationship or has been in one.  We are ALL touched by this.  We are ALL able to help those who say they need help and those how don’t say it (or even know that they need help).

We ALL deserve to be in a healthy, supportive, loving relationship where we feel safe, no matter what.