Therapy

For some reason, there is a stigma in the US associated with therapy, counseling, or whatever you want to call it.  We happily treat a cold, flu, cancer, heart issues, and any other physical illness that comes our way.  Strangely we see mental issues as something that we should be able to get through without help or treatment.  The human brain is very complex organ that works in ways that science has yet to figure out, but it is still just another organ in the body.  Why don’t we happily treat the brain and its impact on our mental well-being?

Therapy does not have to be the stereotypical way it is portrayed in the media.  You don’t have to lay down on a couch.  It doesn’t have to be about blame – spouse, parent, foe, etc.  For me, therapy is working through what is bothering me and figuring out how to handle or deal with it.  Most of my work is done outside of the therapy session.  The work happens as I go through my life and situations occur.  My reaction (which is the only thing that I can control) impacts how I feel.  My way of handling things that I cannot control yet continue to hurt me is to figure out why the person who I allow to keep hurting me is doing those things.  Once I figure that out, I have empathy for them and I can move forward.  I have gone from crying after interactions to laughing about them.

I have been in and out of counseling for many years.  The first time I tried therapy, I had a male therapist who didn’t understand me (or any woman, for that matter).  He insisted that my husband attend a session then proceeded to tell me that my issues were irrelevant and that I should do what my husband wants.  This was in the late 1980s!  Needless to say, I never saw that jackass again. 

After that experience, I was hesitant to try again.  My problem is that I wait until I am at my wits end, have hit my rock bottom, or feel that there is no way out before I seek help.  This is the WRONG way to do it.  I have had different therapists over the years who have helped me through the situation that sent me to therapy, but I never felt truly happy.

I have been on anti-depressants since my child was 9 months old.  I had post-partum depression that I tried to work through by myself.  My doctor put me a low dose of anti-depressant.  With the deaths of my mother (3 ½ yrs. ago), my best friend and confidant (9 mos. ago), and my brother (6 mos. ago), I was in a depressed stupor that I felt was not going to get better without help.  I spoke to my doctor and she doubled my anti-depressant.  I didn’t like the idea of taking more medication to feel better, even though it worked a bit.  I decided that it was time for therapy again. 

I asked around for recommendations without success, so I turned to my insurance company and Google which led me to the perfect therapist for me!  We met every week for a month or so and I was feeling so good that the time between sessions started to be longer and longer until I decided that I was done (for now).  Now, for the first time, when someone asks me how I am and I answer that I am well or good, I really mean it (and I am back to my original dose of anti-depressant).  That is how I knew that this time my therapist really helped me, deep down to my soul.  I really do feel happy.  I really do feel good.  I really feel that I am well.  It is taking me some time to adjust to this.  I’ve been unhappy for so long it was my “normal”. 

I still get sad.  I still get upset.  I still get angry.  But my entire outlook has changed because of this.  No matter what has happened lately, I still feel good deep down inside.

If you feel that you need therapy, go get it!!  There is a secret to therapy working, though.  You must find the right therapist for you.  I’m warning you – you will have to “kiss” a lot of frogs before you find your PC (no, not Prince Charming . . . your Perfect Counselor).