NOT ALL MEN ARE BAD

A short time ago, I was talking to a younger woman who was insisting that all men are bad. I started thinking about this. I don’t believe that “all” men are bad just as not “all” women are bad. There is good and bad in everyone. Unfortunately, that young woman kept choosing romantic partners who were not good people. This happens to a lot of us – we continuously choose someone who is not a good person and/or not right for us. Hopefully, over time we learn what to look for and look out for. Some people see the pattern that has developed in their life then go from one extreme to the other hoping to find the right person.

What we need to understand is that no one is perfect. The 18th-century English poet, Alexander Pope, wrote “To err is human, to forgive, divine” in his poem “An Essay on Criticism“. We all make mistakes. Making a mistake is not the problem as long as we apologize and correct it, if possible. I believe that things that happen to us in our life are not mistakes – they are lessons. We must learn from these lessons and take them to heart.

Finding the right romantic partner is a very difficult thing to do. And, yes, we need to kiss a lot of frogs to find our prince/princess. The secret is finding that one person who loves us how we need and want to be loved. Someone who understands us, likes us (even when we are horrible), cares about us, and is willing to be honest and work through any issues that arise.

When we are dating these frogs we see red flags and warning signs. The younger we are, the more we ignore them, rationalize them, make excuses for them, and sweep them under the rug. As we age and mature, we see these red flags for what they are – an indication of the true character of that person. We decide if this is something that we can accept and live with, or not. That decision is up to the individual.

What we need to remember is that most people are good.