RATIONALIZING

RATIONALIZING

To rationalize actions and behavior – to try to justify or explain them with logical reasons.

We all do it. We do it when thinking about others. We do it when thinking about ourselves. It seems to be a way for us to process and understand the actions of others that don’t make sense to us or explain behaviors that we cannot accept. We use it to excuse our own behavior. Humans tend to personalize things that happen to and around them, even when it is obvious that the other person’s actions had nothing to do with them.

I have been trying very hard to not do this. Unfortunately, though, recently someone was behaving crazy when talking to me. The things they said angered me, hurt me, made me sad, and upset me. I thought about where they were coming from in their situation and pushed away the thoughts that this person was trying to manipulate me (because not everything is about me – LOL). While talking with a friend about the situation, they said that they felt that the other person WAS trying to manipulate me.

I don’t know about you, but when I know this is happening to me, I dig in my heels, put on my big girl panties (I LOVE that term!), and take care of myself. Once I know that we are “playing a game”, I am all in. I know what I am doing and I will NOT be manipulated, used, abused, etc. Sometimes I will leave quietly and sometimes I will play along. As a wise woman recently said to me, “You never throw the first punch but you certainly throw the last.” Not quite but, more often than not, if it is a game that you want, it is that game that we shall play.

And that is exactly what I did. I played the game that I was manipulated into playing. Guess what happened? I won. Big time! (I am not competitive by nature so I only compete if I think [know] that I can win. 😊 )

WAIT! This blog was about rationalization. I am still working on trying not to rationalize as much. I am trying to be more empathetic and looking at where the other person is coming from. I am definitely getting better with this. My life is more peaceful because of this. Are you going to try less rationalization in your life?