ASKING FOR HELP –

ASKING FOR HELP  –

I was raised by a fiercely independent woman who was raised by a fiercely independent woman. Therefore, I tend to be fiercely independent. I can do most things for myself. This means that I find it very difficult to ask for help. I am getting better at it (I hope). I am trying.

My generation (Gen X) was raised by the Silent Generation. These women were pioneers who came of age in the 1960’s and 70’s even though they still held on to the things that they were taught which they passed down to us – or at least they tried. (It is hard to listen to someone wearing hot pants when they tell you your skirt is too short. LOL)

Anyway, us older Gen Xers were taught to lean on a man for help; use our feminine wiles to get men to do what we want; to not get our hands dirty; wear a slip under our dress/skirt; match our  shoes with our purse; etc. I was taught those things. BUT I also saw my mother fix things and get things done without a man around.

Over the years I have learned how things work and how to fix things. That stuff is ingrained in my brain and that is how my mind works which I can’t help. I spent decades around men who knew how to fix things, so I watched and learned. I know that my independence has made me a difficult partner for some.

I am trying hard to be better at asking for help. I feel like I am imposing on people when I ask. I feel that I am annoying them. I feel like a failure because I can’t do it myself. These are all things that I need to work on. I know that my feelings are ridiculous, but they are my feelings. I am still, and always will be, a work in progress.