BEING INDEPENDENT –

BEING INDEPENDENT –

Who knew that being an independent woman (see my previous post ASKING FOR HELP), would be so threatening to some people? I certainly didn’t.

At one point in my life, my Mom told me that I was too independent and I didn’t need anyone else. That confused me because she raised me to take care of myself. Her comment also hurt me a lot at the time. I later realized that she was already dealing with the Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease and I have let that pain go.

At the beginning of a long-term relationship, I was told that my independence was refreshing and something to be admired. This person said that they loved the fact that I took care of myself and others, didn’t ask for much, and was able to do so many things without help. What I have not let go of is the confusion and anger of being told by the same person that they were done with the relationship because I was too independent. Well, you can’t have it both ways, so, thankfully, we are no longer together.

Can I take care of myself and get things done? Yes. Is doing things by myself sometimes (and ONLY sometimes!!) about control? Yes, but only sometimes (as I may have mentioned before). My life experiences have taught me many things and I try to learn something new every day.

No matter what, though, I am me. What you see is what you get. I don’t beat around the bush. I don’t hint at things. If I ask a question, I want an honest answer. I say what I mean (maybe not in the best way…) and I mean what I say. There is no reading between the lines. I am at an age where I don’t have the time nor the patience for that crap.

A dear friend has a sign in her home that says (something like), “If you didn’t get it right the first time, go back and do it the way your wife told you to.” If your friend, partner, colleague knows more about this than you do, why not believe them? I will bet that they come to you for things that you know more about than they do.

Through everything I’ve been through at my ripe older age, I am determined to stick by one thing, which I have posted on my bathroom mirror. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF! That’s what I am doing. I am me. I am independent. I know how to do things. I don’t know how to do a lot more things, but they haven’t been a part of my day-to-day life. And, if I need help, I will ask for it.

By the way, if you would like to help me, please offer because I am not great at asking when I can do it myself.